Campout 15th-17th Feb 2008, Wilson’s Promontory National Park.

It’s great having a day off from work. You can get up an hour earlier than normal and get ready to go on camp out. The good news is you get to call your sponsor a lot earlier than usual too, and catch him off guard, so no tricky questions!

I met Ben J at Caulfield station and we set off around 8.30am. We were making good progress, until the South Gippsland Highway disappeared. One minute you are following the signs, the next you’re on the road to Phillip Island. We took the suggested directions at a servo and got back on track. I was amazed at Ben’s ability to fall asleep mid conversation and wake up ages later and resume as if nothing had happened.

Only another 2 wrong turns and we stopped in Leongatha for some food, and instructions from Gav on where to find Billy when we got to the campsite. Apparently Billy was at the end of Avenue 5, right on the beach. WRONG! Avenue 5 had no Billy, and no beach. At the camp ground, we called Billy, who in the tradition of the guy trusted to find and secure 3 campsites and let everyone know where they are, had gone off surfing or swimming. We left a message and called Gav again.

Now according to Gav’s new information, Billy must have moved, he was now on Avenue 25. WRONG! Gav now said it was Avenue 35 all along. But the Avenues only go up to 34, presumably Gav was still suffering from his towball trauma. Luckily Billy got back from whatever it was he was up to, and called. We found him and the campsites, which he quickly changed on us again. Luckily he had found a really good one with a big area for the tarp, and he’d also managed to negotiate some extra space with the guy and the Girl Next Door (who did not go un-noticed…by anyone…).

Once Gav and Cable showed up we were able to get the set up started. Gav had the instructions and the tools and set up went really easily. We even managed a cup of tea first. Didn’t take Cabes long to step into the Malcolm role and start breaking things…hammers being the usual target, although he claimed it was Gav’s fault for buying crap hammers.

By now guys were starting to arrive (apart from Dmitry, who would have been quicker running). The sausages got started, and the camp took shape, Dean S never realized that his sausage had been on the ground in the filth. Dean B and Ash arrived fairly late, but it appears that that was due to Ash’s need for repeated stops to buy toiletries, hair products, perfume, lingerie, a fondue set and a cuddly toy. Dean B was also rather pleased with the brand new camp chair he had bought. Fergus completely let the side down though, no knife and no hat. So we had to pick on Ash some more. Did I mention him stopping to buy moisturizer on the way?

Then came the first meeting of the weekend. The campout meetings are always good, and this one was no exception. Unfortunately not everyone got the chance to share, but then with 25 guys (and about a billion mozzies), and the way some of them like to talk, we’d still be there.

Most folk headed off to get a good nights’ sleep. Most didn’t. Steve did. If you ever need to fool your neighbours into thinking you’ve got an extremely high powered motorbike running over a lion using a chainsaw, call Steve, and as k him to go to sleep. Snore, he could snore professionally for Australia. The Richter scale does not have a high enough level to measure it. Of course the snoring only started after we were treated to Justin (should know better than drink coffee) and Jim (should just know better) treated us to their ‘comedy’ routine… Dmitry’s was the funniest joke of the day when he pointed out Billy was trying to claim that his wife’s ironing board was in fact some traditional Hawaiian surf-board styled on those dating back hundreds of years. No wonder they wear crush proof nylon Benny L shirts in Hawaii, if all the ironing boards are in the sea.

People started getting up around 5.45am (!!) the next morning to go surfing. I overheard Billy saying, he got a new longboard for his wife. Sounds like a great trade. Around this time Ben got worried as he hadn’t phoned his sponsor yet. Luckily Matty was on hand to talk him down and point out that he was in fact Ben’s sponsor. Dmitry ran to Melbourne for the papers, twice.

After a meeting and breakfast it was time for the Beach Volleyball contest. It could have been the Copacabana, right down to the sporting of Brazil shirts, although that was done not by latino beauties, but by Jarryd. The major factor was the wind-speed, something that Warren’s team always seemed to enjoy the benefit of. However in the grand final it didn’t do them any good and they had to resort to cheating to win, and paying Dean S to continually throw the footy at the other team. There are things you must be granted wisdom enough to know you can’t change. The wind was so strong that we needed fielders round the playing area to stop the ball ending up in NZ. We even needed a short-backward-square, thankfully Adam was with us.

After lunch we had the afternoon free. Some guys went surfing, others decided to get the shuttlebus up to Mount Oberon. I opted for a cup of tea and a nice sit down. A while later I decided to drive to the shop for some juice and spotted the Gav, Jamie, and Nick, who were still waiting for the bus. Ever eager to be of service I offered them a lift and we went off to Squeaky Beach. The fact that the beach actually squeaked when you walked on it was really amusing, for about 10 seconds, then it became annoying. Still since Squeaky Beach did what its’ name said, its just as well that we avoided Whisky Beach and Cheapcaskwine Inlet.

Everyone got back for dinner and started to compare sunburn. Luckily Ash had ointments, unguents and emollients in his new make up case to salve the burns. Dinner was a fine curry and fruit pies. The pies had been heated just the way the Deal has become used to, warm and crisp on the outside, molten lava on the inside. Although some Sundays we have managed to serve pies frozen in the middle, and like the surface of the sun outside.

The Saturday night meeting was a useful discussion of Steps 6 and 7, lead by Mark and PT. It was also good to hear from new guys Paul and Nick, and Shane and Greg from Torquay. After the meeting was a good time to catch up with guys and have a useful chat. Ash went off to talk to some girls he’d met, but reappeared very quickly. They must have asked to borrow his curling tongs or something. Thankfully Steve gave over on the snoring and we all had a good sleep, except Dean B whose mattress must have been on a pea.

The Sunday morning meeting gave everyone a chance to share, and most seemed to have got something from the weekend. The only thing we missed out on was a huge big fire. Still, next time. After the meeting it was time to dismantle the camp, getting Ash’s dressing table and lighted mirror into the trailer was tricky right enough, Gavin made everyone adopt-a-chair so there was room. Dean B was particularly annoyed at having to adopt a chair, as his new one got broken , and he had had it since the day before!

Once the tents were down, most folk left (thanks guys) and we took down the tarp and packed up everything else. Benny J even had time to drive the ute.

So finally we pulled out of the campsite, and Steve turned into Nicky Lauda and disappeared into the distance. It was good to have a laugh and enjoy the fellowship again, but I don’t think anyone misses the discomfort and filth of camp living, except maybe Shane M, as it’s a step up for him, from living in Geelong.

The next camp out I am told is around June and will probably be Echuca. Winter woolies and a huge fire required, but will Ash or Dean B wear hats and risk messing their hair?

– Geoff